ipa taste test

Woot! IPA taste test! And the tastes we are testing? Oh, oh! It’s a blind test! We’re super-scientists.

So we have six IPAs here. We each taste each together (in tiny little adorable shot glasses). Then we’ll decide which is the winner. THERE MAY BE ONLY ONE.

Beer A!

Jessica: They’re trying to trick me! It’s very very hoppy, so you think it’s a good beer, but it’s actually watery and thin. Bud with hops.

Isley: Meh? Good I guess? Oh man it’s like Jesus came in my mouth. Maybe I see Jessica’s point, but it’s still good.

Ian: Good, but not spectacular. Not that memorable, but very hoppy. Meh.

Beer B!

Jessica: Flowery-smelling. It doesn’t have the hops on top, but way more going on down below. A solid B.

Isley: Not crazy-impressed, but actually pretty good. Less hoppy. Perhaps I was overzealous about A. (I thought it was the expensive one.)

Ian: I like it a bit more because it’s less hoppy. It smelled great, too.

Beer C!

Jessica: Why does this remind me of green vegetables? Asparagus? Meh. It’s okay? It’s not “shitty beer,” just, “I don’t like that.”

Isley: Not bad, but A and B were better. Weird aftertaste. Bad-bitter, not good-bitter.

Ian: Lame smell, terrible after-taste.

Beer 4!

Jessica: Smells like perfume! Tastes like perfume! No, no, no!

Isley: Least favorite so far? Not super-hoppy. Slightly bitter aftertaste. Not real impressed.

Ian: Very carbonated and bubbly. Seems like very mellow for IPA.

At this point Jessica applies vanilla-scented lip balm. We are sharing glasses. Party foul in progress, though it was not yet known at the time this photo was taken:

She gets found out and yelled at solidly. New glasses are obtained.

Beer 5!

Jessica: Nice. A good stolid hoppy beer. Best so far?

Isley: It has a beat and I can dance to it! Actually pretty good!

Ian: I may have liked it better with the vanilla, but still pretty good. Balance?

Beer 666!

Jessica: I don’t love it, but it tastes wine-y and expensive. Chimay-y. I bet Ian will like it.

Isley: Hmmm…IPA, Schmi-PA. Tastes like vermouth. Smells not wholly bad, just not real hoppy.

Ian: A little boozy. I’ll bet it has the highest alcohol content.

OOOOOH and now it’s down to the semi-finals! We’ve decided that our top three are A, B, and 5. We do super-blind tests with these three. Boys think they’re hilarious, so they pour me a glass half-full of beer, half-full of vanilla extract. I do not drink this. For some reason, Isley does.

These are very serious tests! Much serious debate is had!

Third place…Avery!

Second place…Breckenridge!

And first place…O’Dell’s!

Number 666, Goosehead, was disqualified, as we learned that it was not actually an IPA. Take that, Goosehead!

A fine taste-test all around!

Good work, friends!

…But what’s happening in Ispwich???