This bunny happened today!!!!
Oh, jeezy, it was tiny. I almost ate it, it was so motherfucking cute.
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These are mondo old – I just found them because I was looking at old pictures to print for something else and I was struck by their utter adorableness! You can tell how old they are because Digby’s still skinny in some of them.
One of the things I got for Christmas this year was Aranzi Aronzo’s The Cute Book. And oh, it is, it is.
It’s this tiny little book, full of kawaii-goodness, written in either semi-broken English or else some version of lolcats-y cuteness pidgin, which has patterns for making tiny adorable little felt “mascots.” They’re totally addicting.
Here’s my serious monkey, re-writing Shakespeare:
The ugliest fish in the world:
These two little um, lizards, I guess?:
And the kidnapper:
At least, he’s a kidnapper in the book. In their version of him, he’s got more of a frown and a not-green suit. In my version, he looks kind of like a friendly retarded farmer.
Great hat, though!
Oh, and also:
Though it’s not as bad as it seems. The ones on that website were, like, what? $5.99? This one was only $1.99, at the Container Store. But I did have to stand in line for a really long time in super-uncomfortable shoes. Anything for kawaii?
But, since I saved so much money on THIS, I think I should totally fucking go for the giraffe bento box. Yes? Who’s with me?
Well, devil-noises have stopped, though there’s still an awful lot of banging around and walking back and forth and dropping heavy things.
Is this worth $20?
I’ve been wanting a bento box for a while, now, so it’s not THAT outlandish. Though it does seem a bit outlandish in light of the fact that I live a brief train ride away from the second-best Chinatown outside of China? Though I’ve looked there before and never found one I love. Still, twenty bucks is a lot for a stupid piece of Tupperware with a giraffe on it.
Also, what about this?
That one’s not twenty bucks, but it IS sold out, and I would have to make a concerted effort to watch the site and see when it comes back in stock.
Fucking CuteOverload. Will you never leave well enough alone? This is how I got the damned beepy turtle!
(Actually, beepy turtle was COMPLETELY worth the cost of shipping from China for this one photo:)
Hey look, there’s this neat little indie movie you might not have heard of.
So you can make your own Simpsons characters. Ian and I both made Ian and I:
By me:
And by Ian:
His him is way hotter. I feel pretty bad about making my him kind of insulting. I guess his me is hotter, too. Definitely boobier. It’s cute that he gave me bright red shoes. Though I haven’t worn my hair down since elementary school. It’s cute that we both dressed our hims basically exactly the same.
I tried to make some other people, too, but I felt bad that my Ian had turned out so nerdy-looking and I didn’t want to insult anyone else. So you do not get to see my yous.
Edit: Isley! I stole yours to post here, too! Sorry! It was tooooooooo cute.
I went to the Times Square Toys R Us over lunch the other day, to visit the Barbie Castle! (Wheeee!) And I noticed a new line that I hadn’t seen before! It’s called “I can be…” and it’s all about different career paths that girls can have. The dolls have more reasonable makeup, much more conservative clothes, and the accessories they come with are all related to their careers, rather than focused on clothes and hair and stuff. Look at Jessica impressed! Her guilty pleasure, the thing she cannot logically defend, but which she loves-loves-loves to death anyway, poor old maligned little Barbie, has made good!
Let’s revel in the goodness!
Ah, yes. Art teacher to toddlers. Baby photographer. Pet sitter. The “Ball-Buster’s Trifecta,” as it was known during the glass-ceiling-busting ERA 80s powersuit era.
But let’s take a closer look into these exciting career paths, shall we?
Tripod? Check. Miniskirt? Check. Three sets of fairy wings? Check. So far this is exactly the same equipment that Gordon Parks and Dorothea Lange packed into their camera bags. What separates Barbie from the rest?
Oh, right. Horrific mutants.
On to the next high-powered career choice!
Fun! FriendS! “Food!” And – that’s right. Up there on the top of the tower, another horrific cycloptic mutant. (Also: “I can be pet sitter?” I guess I can be English speaker, too, eh? Maybe this why I can’t be teacher.)
Who else noticed that 66% of little girls’ dream jobs involve “cute” as a major job requirement? I did, my friends. I did. And you know why? Because that’s the first word I put on the top of my resume, and it’s also the first word I look for in job descriptions. (Assistant to the manager of the secretarial department of the largest law firm in the entire world? CUTE!)
But darnit, Barbie, enough sarcasm! Let’s get serious! These are terribly limiting choices you are offering up to little girls! If this is all you, one of their major outlets for imaginative adult play, if not actually a role model, show them, then how will they learn about their other choices? Other career paths available? Such as, oh, I don’t know, Nascar whore? (Scope those unevenly half-lidded meth-riddled eyelids.)
Or keepsake-pouch proffering fairy princess?
Or trophy wife to plastic surgeon?
Fabulous options indeed, South Beach Whore Barbie. Fabulous options, indeed.
Warned you.
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